LET THE DOUBT ABOUT ABUSE BENEFIT YOUR CHILD AND NOT THE MOLESTER. IF THE THOUGHT OF POSSIBLE STRANGE BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOUR CHILD CROSSES YOUR MIND, THEN INVESTIGATE AND SUSPECT THE ADULT UNTIL PROVEN NOT GUILTY. RATHER THAT THAN CLOSING YOUR EYES AND DESTROYING YOUR CHILD.
Please consider your child's innocence before you consider some family members or friends behavior to be innocent. Incest is destructive for your childs future and development. Do not talk yourself out of your own suspicions. The sixth sense often gives the first indication. Sometimes people will convince themselves that they are not seeing what they are seeing and hearing what they are hearing.
Your feelings of self-doubt are often supported by the strong denials from the suspect. They may be your spouse, the grandfather, aunt or uncle, neighbor, even chief of police, priest, child care worker, social worker, judge but regardless of label please consider the safety of your child FIRST.
The denials of the molester(s) will be accompanied by expressions of shock, outrage and even indignation that he/she/they could even be suspected of such conduct. He/she will frequently make partial admissions or comments such as: “I was only bathing her!” or “I was just hugging her, I love her you know.” Do not trust them blindly, even the suspect will sometimes enlist the support of friends and colleagues who will attest to his sincerity and reputation. This pattern is typical especially among preferential child molesters.
If you think an adult, friend or relative, is paying an excessive amount of attention to your young child or any child, be cautious. Taking photos or movies of your child naked or partially dressed can be part of producing child porn. Talk over your suspicions with your spouse or someone you trust. Above all, make inquiries to your child.
There are noticeable behavioral changes in a child who is being actively abused. The changes can include:
- Any sudden and unexpected change in a child’s traditional behavior.
- He or she complains of frequent nightmares.
- A new fear of a place where the child has visited before or a new fear of a person that he knows and has been in contact with. Be very suspicious if your child demonstrates this behavior.
- A new awareness of sex related words, genitals or drawings of sexual themes.
Aside from psychological changes, look for physical signs of abuse such as anal or genital redness, bleeding or any type of suspicious injury to or near a child’s genitals. But keep in mind that the overwhelming majority of child sex abuse cases do not include a visible physical injury. However, there can be many reasons that an injury will not occur in a sex abuse case. There may be no force involved, the abuse may not include the child’s genitals or penetration may never have been accomplished. The abuse may be oral or consist of only touching. IT IS STILL ABUSE, AND UNLESS STOPPED MAY PUT YOUR CHILD'S LIFE AT RISK.
Molesters, when caught, will frequently encourage police to have the victim medically examined. They know there is no visible injury to substantiate the charge. They believe that a medical examination will support their claims of innocence.
Never underestimate the cleverness of these people. But the astute investigator knows that the absence of an injury does not settle the matter, nor does it prove conclusively that abuse did not take place.
Remember that children who are being sexually abused are experiencing conflicting and painful emotions that they cannot sort out or understand. But this does not mean the situation can’t be verbalized. Children are more resilient than we give them credit for.
Remember that the children that recover the best from sexual abuse are the ones whose parents took a proactive response to the situation. We can only do that by arming ourselves with the tools of knowledge and vigilance. It is up to us, the caretakers of children, guardians of their safety and their dreams, to assume control, cast off the terrible bonds of sexual abuse and bring their nightmare to an end.
Please talk to your child about this subject if it has started going to school, and go to various websites listed on our site to let it read and be educated about the dangers of some people.
If your child is not in school yet, teach it that no one is to see or touch it in personal areas and that it must not do so either to other children or grown ups.
Teach your kid(s) the signals in action and the topics in conversations to watch out for and how to handle such situations. Explain why it can and MUST talk to you about such things, even they have given oath of silence to the adult with strange and suspicious behavior.
